How to get others to listen to you

If you want people to really listen to you, you have to make what you’re saying important to them—not just to you.

Think about it: how many times have you checked out while someone was talking? Was it truly boring or just not interesting to you? Subtle difference, but an important one. The speaker cared enough to share it, but they didn’t bridge the gap to make you care.

That’s what separates great communicators from average ones. Great communicators hold your attention by making what they say feel relevant. Without that connection, even important points go “in one ear and out the other.”

The other day, I had lunch with a family member in high school who’s taking a public speaking class. He had to do a “show and tell” about himself. His plan was to bring three things: a protein shake, MMA gloves, and guitar picks.

When I asked him more about his approach, I realized the problem: the speech was all about him, with no hook for the audience. He assumed classmates would automatically be interested in what mattered to him. I could just picture the bored faces of his teenage classmates.

So over lunch, we reworked his speech. The focus shifted from his stuff to the stories behind them—and how those stories could spark curiosity and connection in others. By the end, he not only had a better plan, but also felt more confident and excited to deliver it.

That’s the lesson: communication isn’t measured by what you say, it’s measured by the response you get.

At work and in life, the easiest way to earn attention is simple make it about them first.